I have planned more than 50 wedding ceremoniesso I know what misdeeds guests should avoid.
Be sure to RSVP, but don’t bring someone who isn’t on the invite unless you have a plus one.
Don’t assume anything about the event and trust the couple to plan the big day of their dreams.
So here are seven ways to avoid common faux pas at your upcoming events.
Sit in the front of the ceremony
Guests often don’t fill the middle rows of seats at a wedding ceremony.
While the first and second rows are usually reserved for guests in the inner circle, the rest is usually open to everyone.
So if you see those middle rows are empty and the event is about to start, please go upstairs. It takes the ceremony from dull to full people the couple cares about†
Do not bring people who are not on the invitation
If the person’s name isn’t on the invite or you didn’t get a plus-one, there’s a reason — probably the couple doesn’t have Scrooge McDuck levels of cash.
Children can sometimes be an exception to this rule, but couples usually proactively make it clear whether children are invited or not. Look for that guidance before you ask.
Make sure to do the pre-event reading
Between reading the details and filling out a survey, a wedding invitation can feel like a part-time job. But please take 15 minutes and do it all anyway.
Couples don’t send that information for their own pleasure, and today a lot of that extra paperwork has to do with your own health and safety.
One of the worst faux pas is showing up at an event and not knowing the limits, like bring a vaccination card or wearing a mask.
Don’t verbally or literally snap at wedding sellers
I understand you really want my attention, but snap your fingers doesn’t look great†
If you are physically able to do that, come to me. I’ll probably meet you halfway through, and then you can share your question or concern, person to person.
Also don’t verbalize the sellers. This is happening more often this year as tensions run high (and the bars even higher), so check yourself and consider defusing situations around you.
The service staff are in the midst of an extremely busy event season and have their own pandemic trauma to deal with, so don’t make other people’s pain worse because your gin and tonic will take a little too long to make.
Please RSVP, especially if you can’t come
If there’s one thing I wish guests would do, it’s RSVP. Couples are always forced to play phone tag with anywhere from five to 50 guests.
That may not seem like a big deal to you, but the couple you care about has half a dozen wedding vendors asking them for a workforce.
You are not allowed to assume anything about the event you are attending
We often imagine a certain type wedding in our minds based on our experiences and the content we have consumed, but you should not assume anything about the event.
But if the couple is planning their big day, you can use that image in everyone’s head to your advantage.
Are there certain things that guests can expect — like hair and makeup, first dances, or toast — that would be helpful to acknowledge? Can you give people the tools they need to respect others, such as: pins that share pronouns†
When planning the event, think about the opportunities for the people you love most in the world to get to know you better.
Trust the couple to plan the wedding they want
People often assume that the suppose planning a wedding don’t know what they want as they have never done this before – but in almost all situations as a guest you have to trust them.
If they tell you they don’t want KitchenAid and ask for cash instead, give them money. If they skip dancing, even if you like it, go out after the wedding. If the bar is all cash, keep your snide comments to yourself until you get home.
When in doubt, think about how you would like to be treated if you hosted this wedding and what compliments would lift your spirits during a particularly stressful, expensive and emotional time.
Read the original article Insider