swallow me hole
The Large Hadron Collider first began smashing subatomic particles together in 2010, sparking a wave of panic over scientists accidentally ushering in the apocalypse. Nervous critics said the experiments these scientists conducted with the LHC could create a small black hole, suck up everything around it and eventually engulf the entire world.
Apparently these critics were wrong. We’re still here in 2022, and while it sometimes feels like we’re living in a hellscape, we’re still – at least for now – a pre-apocalyptic society. In fact, the LHC successfully ran on the headquarters of the European Council for Nuclear Research (CERN) for several years, before closing for updates in 2018.
At the time, the particle accelerator facilitated some of the largest international scientific collaborations the world has ever seen, resulting in the discovery of an elementary particle called the Higgs boson (a certified big deal – there’s a reason it’s nicknamed the ‘The Big Deal’). God particle’ has been given).
But now doomsday fears are on the rise again, as the Large Hadron Collider new phase of experiments, causing it to cause collisions with unprecedented levels of energy. This time around, it’s not just black holes that people are anticipating. Try: gates to hell, demonic portals and doorways to the multiverse. If the conspiracy theories are correct, then this is what we should look forward to starting today (July 5), when the experiments begin.
Below we’ve collected everything you need to know about the theories and what really happens 175 meters below the French-Swiss border.
WHAT ALSO IS THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER?
Built by CERN between 1998 and 2008, the LHC is the world’s largest particle accelerator, housed in a tunnel 27 miles in circumference and buried up to 175 meters deep near Geneva. What does it do? It accelerates high-energy particle beams to nearly the speed of light, which then collide at four intersections.
Its aim is to answer some of the fundamental questions in the field of physics, covering everything from the relationships between subatomic particles, to theories of space and time, to Einstein’s theory of relativity.
WHY IS IT SO SINGLE?
In the past, people have tried (in vain) to sue CERN for creating a threat to public safety, suggesting an underlying fear of the side effects of using the unprecedented technology.
The two main fears surrounding the use of the Large Hadron Collider are black holes and the eerily named “strange matter”. The first fear is quite obvious: One of the goals of the LHC is to simulate microscopic black holes that contain clues about the Big Bang. When you hear this, with little to no technical expertise, it definitely sounds like a bad idea.
The second fear centers on the idea that the high-energy LHC experiments could produce “strangelets,” a hypothetical material made up of “foreign matter” that could “infect” the material that makes up the rest of the Earth. That’s a lot of quotes, and for good reason: Strange matter is purely hypothetical at this point and has not been observed in space, where high-energy rays bounce around everywhere.
CONSPIRACY THEORIES ALWAYS BECOME SUPERNATURAL
The LHC reopened earlier this year after three years of upgrades and maintenance. Apparently jets have been circulating in the accelerator since April and are now stable enough to resume testing at higher than ever energy levels, which will last nearly four years. Cue: Mass panic on social media.
In keeping with the internet’s spiritual awakening over the past few years — with conspiracy theorists already moving away from companies like Big Pharma and covert military operations, toward satanismwitchcraft and the return of Atlantis – this hysteria comes in different flavors in 2022. “CERN will open a multidimensional portal on July 5 and start using dark matter!” writes one Twitter user. “Everything is fine.”
Another user agrees that CERN is on track to rip open a space-time portal, adding, “They started getting it ready when the planets aligned on June 24.”
Admittedly, some scientists are exploring the possibilities of a multiverse in relation to the Higgs boson – a theory that is likely to develop in the coming years as more data is collected.
However, other internet conspiracy theories are even more far-fetched, such as the one that suggests the new experiments will open portals to hell. Then there’s the idea that CERN tampering with the God particle will release demons and spirits that can invade your body, especially if you’ve been… drinking? Apparently, similar demonic forces also circled in 2012 and 2016 (years that, to be fair, hit differently on the apocalypse scale).
IS ANYTHING REALLY HAPPENING?
People have feared the Large Hadron Collider for years, both in real life and in fiction. Angels and Devils, the 2000 book by author and pseudo-intellectual Dan Brown, was set in part at CERN, where the Illuminati are stealing some “antimatter” to… blow up the Pope? More recently, Weird stuff reintroduced the idea that our Promethean desire for knowledge and power could unlock untold evil from another dimension.
However, this is all fiction – as are most, if not all, of the theories currently circulating around the internet. If you think this is the demon that has settled in my soul to talk, consider CERN’s soothing safety statement instead of: “The LHC can reach an energy that no other particle accelerator has achieved before, but nature routinely produces higher energies in cosmic ray collisions… Whatever the LHC will do, nature has done that many times over the lifetime of the planet. earth and other astronomical bodies.”
In short, if there is anything For real bad was going to happen, it probably would have already happened. So while the scientists get to work at CERN, we can all calm down and open a drink without fear of evil spirits sneaking in with the good vibes.