I have planned more than 50 weddingsand there are some regrets that many couples share.
Be mindful of what you can afford to spend and don’t waste your budget on unused party supplies.
On the big day, make sure to take some time for yourself to indulge in your newlywed feelings.
As a professional wedding planner I have a seat at court to the ups and downs couples experience as they plan their big day.
Here are the biggest regrets I hear and how to avoid them.
Be realistic and think about what you can spend
Traditional wedding planning might suggest hiring 15 different suppliers for your big day, but that only works if you have tens of thousands of dollars to spend.
Wedding favors are often left behind
I’ve sent countless couples home with a box of forgotten favors.
It’s not that the favors were bad or the guests were ungrateful, but people were often traveling and drinking or just didn’t want another monogrammed koozie.
Be aware of what you buy. See if there is any way the favor can be used your wedding day so it doesn’t just end up in a landfill.
Don’t burn yourself with day-after activities
It’s tempting to stuff your party the day after – or increasingly the days before – with wedding related activities†
If multiple social activities give you energy, do it. Otherwise it’s OK to follow yourself. You don’t have to attend every event.
Know why you invite everyone on your guest list
Every wedding will have at least one or two in attendance, the couple would rather not be there, but pause to watch you guest list when you invite five, ten, or even fifteen people you haven’t spoken to in over a year.
Are they people that someone on your wedding board (financial contributors to your big day) wants to be there? Can you celebrate with them in another capacity, such as eating dinner together or scheduling a long phone call?
If you’re having trouble coming to terms with the polite non-invitation, consider that each wedding guest costs an average of $70 to feed – and that’s before alcohol.
Maybe you regret not having a moment alone together on your wedding day
Couples often tell me that they just want their guests to have a good time. But don’t worry – they will. Who wouldn’t have fun with free food and available booze?
Instead of, focus on you and your partner† After the ceremony, take five or ten minutes to hang out together and enjoy those newlywed feelings. Your guests will understand.
It’s nice to give yourself some time before jumping back into real life
It is understandable that not everyone can wave it, but it is nice to at least take a day off between the two weeks marriage related fun and real life.
You don’t have to plan a honeymoon – settling down at home can be wonderful too. The goal is simply to give yourself time and space to embrace the new identity you have just created.
Don’t let the stress distract you from what really matters
Wedding planning can be a stressful ordeal, but first of all, try to focus on the reason you’re doing it.
Looking back is helpful, but take it from me: if you’ve found someone you love enough to get marriedyou have already won when planning a wedding.
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